I don’t know when exactly I decided to make my own happiness a priority.
Maybe it was after I stopped sleeping for two straight months. Maybe it was during a yoga class. Maybe it was walking down the streets in Florence with a gelato cone in hand.
Yeah. It was definitely that last one.
Well, I did. I just got sick of not being happy, of focusing on other things that most people told me were “most important.” And there’s nothing like moving across an ocean to give you a little perspective.
When I figured out that not only did I love food, but that I wanted to make a career out of it, it was like taking in a huge gulp of air in and exhaling every last bit out. Total and utter relief. An incomparable high no drug could ever touch. Delicious.
And that high got me addicted – I had to have it, at all costs. What good is life if you’re not enjoying it, really? I’m not saying every second of every day has to be filled with some kind of orgasmic awesomeness, and I’ve had my fair share of pain for my young age (if not more) and I’m grateful for what I learned from those down-in-the-dumps moments, but what I’ve learned is that not much is truly worth being miserable.
Right now, I’m not happy, and it pisses me off. I am exhausted, confused, and feeling rather low. I have graduated college, quit a job for the first time, and moved to a different state twice in the past 2 months. “Stressed” doesn’t even begin to describe where I am right now.
Wait! Don’t leave just yet – I’m not whining just to bring my fellow readers down! What is helping me most right now is to focus on my #1 goal: happiness. Once I think about what will make me happy, I can focus on how to achieve it and it all just looks a little simpler.
Sound selfish? Probably, but I am a believer in the “good” kind of selfishness, and this, to me, is it. Family and friends are incredibly important and necessary – but you’d be nowhere without your self. It’s taken me a long time to figure that out.
So on this lovely summer day, think about what makes you happy. A cupcake, a trip to the farmers’ market, a walk? Do it. You’ll see what I mean.